Heinrich Schliemann: Professional Embellisher; Wannabe Doctor Henry Walton Jones Junior

You might want to think twice before picking up your Heinrich Schliemann costume at Halloween City this fall season. I know you want to have the best costume and win the school costume contest, eventually earn the senior superlative: most likely to marry rich, and one day die happy. However, there are certain things that should influence your decision before you squander your hard earned rubles on a Heinrich Schliemann costume. 

At the age of roughly seven, Schliemann became fascinated with the city so marvelously captured in Homer’s Iliad. He thought that there must be remnants of Troy somewhere, so using clues from the epic, he traced the city’s resting place to present day Antolia, Turkey, which was at that point Hisarlik. Upon discovering this fabled city, he commenced his unauthorized excavation of Troy. Due to the unsanctioned nature of the project, his brashness likely destroyed many traces of settlements and artifacts. So one reason that you may not want to associate with this famed character is the way he handled unearthing Troy. 

Adding to his list of temerarious behaviors, upon discovering that the city excavated was indeed Troy, he smuggled treasures out of the country!! When caught by the Ottoman Government, he repatriated the more important pieces, and then tried to fence the leftover objects to the Louvre, in Paris. Unsuccessful in his attempts to make a profit, he turned around and, oh so graciously, gifted the objects to Germany. 

So, he had dealt with, and tried to smuggle the treasures of the late king of Troy, Priam, right? Or more likely, he was a fame seeking, embellishing, lie enthusiast. It was discovered that the treasures which held such high acclaim were actually dated far before Priam’s rule. This may make them even more interesting than previously thought, but this development certainly shouldn’t benefit his reputation.

With this information, I hope that you choose a different costume this evening. Here are some alternate ideas if you need them:

GROUP COSTUMES 

• Saturn and Son
• Montresor and Fortunato
• Virgil and Dante
• Hannibal and Dinner Guest
• Pygmalion and Statue 
• Gian Lorenzo Bernini and Saint Teresa
• Alligator and Crocodile
• Leah Ruth and your Godfather
• Alvin and the Chipmunks
• Admiral Spaceship and Nitro

SINGLE COSTUMES

• Mia Goth from X
• Mia Goth from Pearl
• Shelley Duvall from the Shining
• Gian Lorenzo Bernini
• Mud Animal
• Mud Creature from inside the mud
• Praying Mantis
• Alien in his boxers
• Starbucks Triple Shot
• Patrick Bateman (only if you’re looking to start conversations with “OMG you’re Patrick Bateman too?!)
• Sad Car Salesman
• the girl from the painting “Lithuanian Girl with Palm Sunday Fronds”
• Victim