Should you ask for consent before kissing someone?
It’s hard to give a definitive answer to this question, since every person and situation is different, but I can offer some perspective. Consent is, of course, extremely important. Kissing someone who does not want to be kissed is sexual assault. Taking a moment to stop and ask permission may feel a bit awkward, but it’s highly unlikely that the person is going to say no just because you asked first. That being said, I do think there are ways to ‘ask’ without doing so verbally. If you lean in slowly, the other person is given plenty of time to turn their head or move away. Additionally, you can often read someone’s body language to tell if they want to be kissed. I think that you should definitely ask if you have any doubt about how they feel, and your intentions should be made clear before the kiss, whether verbally or not. The person should not be taken by surprise.
I have two friends that clearly like each other and it’s awkward whenever it’s just the three of us, but they won’t get together and it’s really weird. What should I do?
It is ultimately up to your friends if they decide to get together or not. Having feelings for someone does not necessarily mean that you want to date them. You should decide if this is something that you think is worth getting involved with. If it is, and you think that they would be happy together, you could talk to them individually. Playing matchmaker is a little risky, since there is always the possibility that one person wants something more than the other. You might just have to get over the awkwardness. If you can’t, you could stop spending time alone with them.
Hi Julia! I have ego problems and I get embarrassed easily. I hate when people correct me. I’m not sure what to do about it as I am very stubborn and I get very annoyed when I am told I’m wrong because I get really embarrassed.
I totally understand getting embarrassed or upset when being told that you are wrong. Nobody likes being corrected or called out. It’s important to give yourself permission to make mistakes. Being wrong doesn’t make you stupid or bad, it just makes you human. This is especially true for someone as young as a high school student. It’s a good first step that you recognize that this is an ego problem. When you get into one of these situations, try to take a step back and assess if you are actually wrong. Are you confident in what you are saying? What are your sources? Practice admitting that you might not be correct. It can be tempting to double down to protect your pride, but this will honestly only make it worse when you are eventually confronted with evidence that you are wrong. None of this is easy, but this work is important to managing your negative emotions and maintaining good relationships with others.
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