Ask Julia 2: People are constantly talking about me behind my back (my friend tells me that). I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and it makes me feel awful. What should I do?
I like someone and since winter formal is coming up I wanted to ask them, but we aren’t that close. Are there any tips or excuses to hang out with them you can give me?
It is definitely a good idea to spend time with someone if you like them, so that you can get to know each other better. I don’t think that you should think of it as an “excuse,” but rather a fun thing to do. A good first step is to spend time with them at school, if possible. If you have any classes together, try to sit near them and work together on group projects, but don’t be too pushy about it. You can also eat lunch together. Try to connect through mutual friends. Start a line of digital communication with them, either on social media or through text.
Outside of school, you can start out by spending time with this person in a group setting. Remember that you don’t have to have a specific plan in mind when you hang out with someone; you can just go to one of your homes or a park. COVID does limit your options, but you can go out to eat or see a movie if you feel comfortable with that. If you are unable to see each other in person at all, you could hang out on Zoom and talk or play online games. If you can’t think of anything fun to do, you could even do homework together.
After you have spent more time with this person, you can decide if asking them to the winter formal is the right move. You should only ask someone out if you believe that there is a chance of them saying yes. You don’t have to be sure, but asking someone out who is almost certainly going to say no creates unnecessary awkwardness. Good luck!
My friend is having a birthday party, and they say they don’t want a present, but I want to get them one anyway. What should I do?
I think that most people would not be angry or upset at receiving a present, even if they said that they didn’t want one. It is hard to know when someone says “no gifts” if they really mean it, or if they are just trying to be polite and not cause anybody trouble. I generally take people at their word, and assume that they are sincere.
There are various reasons why someone would ask you not to bring a gift and mean it. They may not want to have to reciprocate giving a gift in the future, for either financial or convenience reasons. They might be simply uninterested in receiving material goods. You can try to think of something else that they might appreciate. You could give them a heartfelt card, an art piece, or a home baked treat. In conclusion, you should not feel obligated to get your friend a present, but you are probably good to do so if you want to, depending on the person.
How susceptible are the students and faculty of this school to assimilation or neural reconstruction? Asking for a friend, who is a space-faring, world-conquering, hivemind-creating sort of guy.
I’m not sure, but I do believe that Sequoyah may have an anti-conquering policy. You should get in touch with the admin to learn more. To my other readers, in order to prepare for the possibility of this space-faring friend’s success, I suggest watching The Faculty (1998) and the Rick and Morty episode “Auto Erotic Assimilation”.
People are constantly talking about me behind my back (my friend tells me that). I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and it makes me feel awful. What should I do?
I’m so sorry. It’s the worst to have people talk about you behind your back. You say that you don’t know what you are doing wrong. It’s possible that these people have their own issues and insecurities, and that you haven’t done anything, but you should try to find out what the problem is. Maybe there has been some kind of misunderstanding. Personally, I definitely have experience with people misinterpreting my words and actions. If you figure out the source of the issue, you can clarify your intentions. If it turns out that the people talking about you are just mean, then you can rest assured that it has more to do with them than with you. If the situation gets bad enough to impact your day to day life, you may want to involve adults to combat the bullying.
Another element to this issue is the friend who told you this. Is the gossiping as widespread as they say? Is it accurate that this is happening constantly? Furthermore, why did your friend tell you this? Do they have your best interest at heart? It’s totally possible that they do, but it’s something to consider. I hope that you find a way to resolve this situation.
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15 thoughts on “Ask Julia 2: People are constantly talking about me behind my back (my friend tells me that). I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and it makes me feel awful. What should I do?”
penn s and I are back together
They rejected me. Where did I go wrong? Love and peace – MAX R
It’s probably your lack of toes
Or just the regular amount
It’s ok. There are more fish in the sea. You’ll find someone else. Just remember, there will always be tomorrow.
how to I measure a fishes weight using its girth and circumference assuming we know its density?
^ still need to do the homework
Winter formal be wildin
I can’t wait for part 3
I’m very pro assimilation
Thank you Julia!