I don’t think the friend group that I’m currently in is for me. How should I switch out and go into a new one? Sequoyah’s a pretty small school and there’s well established friend groups in my grade; it almost seems impossible to join any of them since they’re so tight knit.
When I was deciding where to go for high school, pretty much my only concern about Sequoyah was how small it was. When you go to a school as small as this one, it’s sort of a gamble when it comes to what kids end up in your grade. Personally, I think I got lucky with my classmates, but that isn’t the case for everyone. I know some people have sought friendships in other grades, which is a great option. Don’t be afraid to get to know people in the grades above or below you. The school year is almost over, which means that a whole new crop of freshmen will show up soon. This will be a great opportunity to make some new friends.
It can feel really difficult to break into friend groups, but it’s important to remember that there’s really no such thing as too many friends. Most people will be open to making new friends. I think that people always feel like they are “intruding” more than other people think they are. Maybe you won’t be able to immediately integrate yourself into the core of the friend group, but you can work your way there. By this same token of it being impossible to have too many friends, I don’t think you necessarily have to “switch out” of your current friend group. Of course, if they are truly terrible, absolutely ditch them. But, knowing Sequoyah, I think that they’re probably pretty okay. You can focus more on new friends, but there’s no reason to get rid of the old. You’ve still got a couple of years of high school left, and you want to keep your options open. And if you’re ever feeling really lonely, come talk to me! I’d love to help.
I’ve come to realize over the past 4 months that I really don’t like my friend group at school. I hang out with them every day, and don’t have any active drama with them, but I just have started disliking hanging out with them. All they want to do is talk trash on other people and just be mean with frankly no justification. I don’t wanna hang out with them, but due to how small my school is, I really have no other option. I like this group more than any other possible group of people at the school, so switching groups would make it worse. What should I do?
This is a surprisingly similar problem to the previous asker’s. It’s unfortunate that there are multiple people who feel this way, but at least now you know you’re not alone. High school is such a weird little ecosystem, and it can be hard to find your place in it. I experienced something sort of like this in eighth grade, but instead of my school being too small, it was so big that I had no idea how to navigate finding new people to hang out with. Sometimes, it’s just the easier option to stay where you are. But easier doesn’t necessarily mean better. For me, I’d always prefer to have a group than to be alone, even if that group isn’t the best. I knew I was going to a new school after eighth grade, so I didn’t really see a point in making a change. This is not your situation. You have to think about the next year(s) of your life in high school, and it doesn’t sound like you want to spend that time with your current group, at least not in its present form.
I doubt that you have considered every possible group that exists at your school. It might be helpful to write out all of the groups, possibly using your school’s directory or social media to make sure you remember everybody. Like I said in my previous answer, don’t be afraid to consider people in other grades. After you have your list, you can try to think of the pros and cons of each group. If you come to the conclusion that your current group really is the best option, then you have your answer. If you decide to stay, that doesn’t mean you can’t make a change. Maybe you could try to suggest other conversation topics to your friends that don’t involve being mean to other people, or gently express that it makes you uncomfortable. If all else fails, you could try to make more friends outside of school or online, but I understand that school friends are also really important. It sounds like you’re in a pretty tough spot, and I hope it all works out for you. My offer to talk to the previous asker applies to you too, and anyone else who feels lonely or lost.
I am awfully worried about getting into a good college. Any advice?
College is scary! As a society, we put a lot of pressure on young people to get into a good college, as if that will determine the rest of their lives. It won’t. My mom, who is a college counselor, always tells her students that it’s far more important what you do at college than where you go. What you are looking for is not a “good college,” but a college that is good for you. Everyone wants and needs different things out of college. Don’t measure the quality of a college by how selective or prestigious it is. Instead, find a school that appeals to you, that you can get into and afford. Remember that there are many colleges that you can be happy and successful at, and there is no single perfect school for you. If you have any questions, you should go ask your college counselor. I’m sure you’ll end up right where you belong.
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