The Slippery Secret of The High School Director

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To those of you who do not know, Marc Alongi is the director of Sequoyah’s high school. He is a dedicated and hardworking man, but there has been controversy swirling around his figure for a while – specifically what is inside his figure.

Sam Swensen, a newcomer to the high school, entered the office around January to pick up a jacket he lost. What he did not expect to find was Marc, alone, cleaning off a slimy substance from his arm. Swensen remembers seeing rapid movement in his eyes, although the new student could not perceive whether it was his actual eyes or a foreign creature.

When I asked Ian Chang, a teacher and authority figure, for a comment or an interview, he simply mumbled something about debating with God and hastily speed walked away. I later saw Marc and Ian together in the Meditation Garden, discussing something in a hushed tone. Marc looked around quickly and held a chicken nugget to his left ear. While I could not see what ate it, I can tell you that something certainly did.

Marc came up to me two weeks ago and asked to talk. I assumed it was about kicking me out of school for forging Official Sequoyah Money™, but instead he came clean to me.

Marc Alongi was born with three eels in his mouth. They were small at first, but as he grew up, so did they. Marc learned that they all shared a stomach, so feeding them fed him as well. However difficult it was, he learned to love his friends, and spent a lot of time on the ocean searching for more friends to house. The biggest eel is bright yellow and her name is Marty, he says. “Marty’s been with me for a long time,” he added. “She knows me inside and out.”

Marc sheepishly tells me that he has a slight addiction to collecting more friends. So far he has twenty-eight eels inside him, with the majority occupying his abdomen in place of his internal organs. He is glad to get this secret off his chest, and hopes that this reveal stops any wayward rumors about him that simply aren’t true.

“I’ve never met someone with my condition, but if there is anyone out there like me, I hope this gives them the strength and courage to come out of the dark. This isn’t anything to be ashamed of.”

Next up, Ben Ede: All-Powerful Immortal or Just Super Cool Dude?

Note: Marc Alongi is not in fact “full of eels” and this story is entirely made up.